More Like Falling In Love

As I may have previously mentioned, until a few months ago I was NEVER a morning person. Never. Ever. Never. No way. No how. But for years, and I do mean YEARS I would go through periods of time where I desperatly wanted to be the type of woman who would get up in the early morning hours and read her Bible, pray for her friends and ask for God's help to prepare for the day. However, for years I was the type of woman who fell asleep with make-up on, which produced the ever sexy racoon eye in the morning. I was the type of woman who would wake up to voices and feet and think to myself, "it's pretty quite out there still, I think only 3 of the 6 kids are up, I've still got time to sleep". In my defense, when my oldest was 7, I also had a 5yr old, 3 yr old, 1yr old and another one on the way. However, I continued to be a night owl. Part of that was because it was quiet at night. And I could eat ice cream without sharing. And I could watch something on tv which didn't require me to "say it with me". (Hello, Dora the Explorer).

I'm not complaining, I love my life. I love my kids, at all the stages they have been in and are heading into. However, the one thing I would change is that for all those years, I did it all in my own strength. I considered myself too busy to truly have a relationship with Christ. I had one. And it flourished.....at times. But it was never consistent. Most Sundays I would tell myself "TOMORROW'S THE DAY!". Tomorrow would be the day I had planned to start my morning early with God and Coffee. Or coffee and God. Probably would need the coffee first. And every Monday morning I would wake up to the alarm and go right back to sleep. 2 hours later, the kids were climbing on me and I was beating myself up with disappointment for another failed attempt.

Fast forward to 2012. Life is busy. Our 13yr old is active in Boy Scouts, which requires a 64 mile round trip and 4 hours of our time on Monday nights. Our 11yr old is in ballet which requires 46 miles round trip and 2 hours of my evening AFTER I have worked the afternoon. The next 3 girls have ballet Wed. night. Same place. Same mileage. Same timeframe. Thursday. Whew! Home in the evening after work. Friday the kids want a friend (or two) over. Saturdays is catch up with chores, friends and shopping. Sunday we fellowship and worship with other believers. Sunday evenings is slow as can be. Movie time. Games. Hang out.And it all starts again. But it's different now. I don't start my days with my own strength anymore.

Nearly 3 months ago I began getting up at 5:45-6:00 every day. I began reading a devotion book, my Bible, praying and watching 2 of my favorite tv preachers every morning. Through this time God has showed me things about myself that are in desperate need of change. In fact, just a few days ago, he revealed a very hard thing to me. My favorite tv show. The ONLY tv show I watch was displeasing to him. It was a PERSONAL conviction. As the day went on, and I really understood that he was calling me to give this up, I knew it had to be done if I wanted to walk in complete obedience. Two days later, as I was driving, the image of a man proposing to a woman came to mind. The man makes the offer of a new life, together. The woman joyously accepts. This is like the initial acceptance of Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior. After the woman accepts, she eagerly sets her sights on working out, eating healthy and making herself "fit" for her bridegroom. She does not thank him for the proposal and go on about her old life. She starts to make changes. She wants to be the best on her big day and wants him to look at her with complete and total approval. Does she need to do this? No. The man has already accepted her. He loves her with all his heart. He wants her, only her, just the way she is. This is exactly how it is with God. He loves us for who we are, where we are, in the exact place and condition we are in at this very moment.

As the bride prepares herself, she does so out of love. Out of a deep, deep love for her bridegroom. She doesn't mind not eating the cake. She doesn't mind working out. She loves this man and wants nothing more than to please him. This is what my realtionship with God has become.

Over these past few months, I've realized that I am seeking to be better out of a LOVE for God, out of a deep, deep love. I know God loves me just the way I am, I know he has already accepted me and taken me into His family. But out of my love for Him, I want to rid myself of the things that keep me from Him. If anything comes between Him and I, I don't want it. If t.v. show, type of music or movie causes me to feel a separation, I don't want any part of it.  I am deeply in love with my God, and He desperatly wants each of you to be that way also. As a show of my love, I willingly gave up the tv show and willingly wake up early every morning to spend time in fellowship and communication with him. What kind of bride accepts the offer of marriage and then walks away from the man, only to call on him when she is in need of something after months of not even speaking to him?

God want each of us to be in love with Him so much that we are willing to give up ourselves to be closer to Him. He wants our relationship with Him to be more like falling in love than something to merely believe in.